trajectory of a life

As a result of my bookclub reading The Martian, we are now tasked with choosing two songs we would want on our Martian-mix, or the music we would choose to accompany us on a lifetime of being stuck on an isolated planet.

For those who know me at all, it shouldn’t be surprising that choosing two — just TWO — songs is basically an impossible task. I love music. I love all types of music (okay, not all — I’m looking at you modern country) and have a lengthy list of favorites from my current collection of more than 6,000 songs. In fact, when I was trying to determine even a short list, let’s say 20 songs, it was basically impossible. Each time I would think I had it, another would pop into my head.

As I scoured through my list attempting to shorten it, I realized the reason it was difficult to exclude any song is because it was not just a list of songs — each was attached to an experience and an emotion. How could I possibly not write down the song that got me through the big breakup of 2005 or the one that pushed me past that 12th mile of my first half marathon? It felt as if I were dismissing that experience or person or emotion — like it was something personal against each of them. This was the soundtrack of my life.

As I recognized this realization, I actually began worrying that my growing list wasn’t enough, that even as I attempted to remove those I remembered, I was mistakenly forgetting others tied to important moments or memories. This made me sad for those moments that missed out or have been forgotten — and the songs that conjure the memories.

But, with a looming assignment deadline and a bookclub leader who runs a tight ship (love you, LB), I forced myself to choose 40 songs to start. Next, narrowing those to the required two choices. Yikes.

My “short” list, in no particular order:

1. Welcome Home, Radical Face
2. Where Is My Mind, Pixies
3. Instead, Madeleine Peyroux
4. Hallelujah, Rufus Wainwright
5. You Get What You Give, New Radicals
6. Sober, Tool
7. Everlong, Foo Fighters
8. Tearjerker, Red Hot Chili Peppers
9. Blower’s Daughter, Damien Rice
10. Say It Ain’t So, Weezer
11. Warning, Incubus
12. Ten Years Gone, Led Zeppelin
13. Thank You, Led Zeppelin
14. Everything else by Led Zeppelin
15. The Unforgiven, Metallica
16. November Rain, Guns N’ Roses
17. Tom Sawyer, Rush
18. Every 90s hip-hop song (yes, I realize this is cheating)
19. Ooh La La, The Faces
20. How It Ends, Devotchka
21. Arms Outstretched, Rilo Kiley
22. Second Chances, Gregory Alan Isokov
23. Wild Horses, The Rolling Stones
24. Karma Police, Radiohead
25. Runaway, Kanye West
26. Killing In The Name, Rage Against the Machine
27. Hear You Me, Jimmy Eat World
28. Your Love, The Outfield
29. Lucky Man, The Verve
30. A Change Is Gonna Come, Sam Cooke
31. Untouchable Face, Ani DeFranco
32. Mission, Beats Antique
33. What a Wonderful World, Louis Armstrong
34. Imagine, John Lennon
35. You Can’t Always Get What You Want, The Rolling Stones
36. In My Life, The Beatles
37. Be Here Now, Ray LaMontange
38. Survivor, Destiny’s Child
39. Clint Eastwood, Gorillaz
40. Intergalactic, Beastie Boys

Next comes the implausible task of narrowing this list down to two. I apologize ahead of time to the songs + memories who will be left out. I promise it’s nothing personal.