too many open tabs + week(sss) reflection

“We are not here to fit in, be well-balanced, or provide examples for others. We are here to be eccentric, different, perhaps strange, perhaps merely to add our small piece, our little clunky, chunky selves, to the great mosaic of being. As the gods intended, we are here to become more and more ourselves.” ~Jim Hollis

As work continues to require more of my time and energy, it’s been difficult to find and make time for what I enjoy — including weekly reflections. I’ve started this post for two consecutive weeks and, each Sunday evening, I come across the tab in my browser showing a partially finished attempt at completion. Sadly, this is pretty reminiscent of my life right now.

I’ve been having difficulty focusing on just one thing for long enough to make any progress, let alone actually finish it. Much like the abandoned browser tabs, there are half-finished tasks scattered all throughout my life right now and it’s driving me crazy — especially as we approach year-end when we’re “supposed to” have everything done and start the new year fresh.

For those who are regular readers of my blog, it’s likely pretty apparent that I’m a list maker and checker-off-er. For better or worse, this is just how I operate and who I am. However, in times like now when there are just too many lists and browser tabs and things to do, it can all be a bit overwhelming, which is basically how I’ve been operating for the last few months — in a constant state of feeling overwhelmed.

And, for as much as I wish this post was about a magical solution I discovered for solving everything I’m feeling and going through right, it just isn’t. There is no magical solution. There is no simple cure. There is only through.

Sometimes there is just too much going on in life. Sometimes we just have to accept it and figure out our go-forward plan, even if that’s just to survive. And, sometimes this includes a half-finished blog post (or two or three) among a sea of open browser tabs. Whether you choose to just say “fuck it” and close the browsers and forget, or you keep them open knowing you’ll eventually get there — sort of like this post — just know it’s okay, even if you never ever get there. You’re doing the best you can with what you have at this exact moment. We all are. And we’ll all get through in our own way.

week(s) in review
read: Dare to Lead + All Our Wrong Todays
reading: The Alice Network
hosted monthly writing group
celebrated friend’s birthday
decked out our new house for the holidays
sent out holiday cards
enjoyed Bohemian Rhapsody
hubby’s work party
shipped holiday gifts to families
perused holiday bizarre
discovered a few new yummy restaurants
watched Meet Me in St. Louis
watched The Christmas Chronicles
exchanged Christmas gifts early
celebrated our sixth-month anniversary
purchased new planner
work trip to Phoenix
annual book club holiday gift exchange + wine tasting
new fuel pump for my car 😦
attended Denver Beer Festivus with friends
helped (sort of) with holiday baking
lunch + catching up with former coworker
hosted dinner for friend + her daugher
wrote + posted this week in our kitchen: adult mac and cheese
wrote + posted living with less: the four rs of navigating holiday gifts

weekend happenings + intentions
pack + last-minute prep for trip
HAWAII!

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