end of a (writing) era? + April reflections

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In February of 2016, I started a monthly writing group as means to dedicate time to writing and meet like-minded people. While attendance waxes and wanes depending on the month, there are always at least a handful of attendees (except that one month where it was just me and a new guy and they put us in an area where we basically just had to sit and stare at each other while we wrote — awkward) and I’ve enjoyed the time spent with group members and the writing. I’ve even met a few wonderful friends through the group. Lately, though, I haven’t been feeling as positive about the group.

On paper, aka our Meetup group, we look strong with 370 members (and adding new members at least weekly) but 97% of those people have never, and probably won’t, actually attend a session. And my feeling has been that it’s fine because they have the option if they want to but I’ve been wondering lately if it’s worth it to keep hosting (and paying) for this large group when the attendance at the actual sessions is so low?

Perhaps bigger than that though is that I just don’t think I’m enjoying the group anymore. My life has changed a lot since February of 2016 and, while I still very much enjoy writing and don’t want to lose my commitment to it, I’m not sure this group is providing the inspiration it once had.

And, not that I need reasons beyond I just don’t want to do it anymore but I will add that the last few months we haven’t been treated well at all by the location where we’ve held the sessions since I started the group (I won’t go into the details, but it’s SUPER disappointing). I’ve been trying to find a new location but to no avail.

Considering all, I think it’s time to say goodbye. For now at least. It’s just difficult because I feel like this group is part of who I am. Plus, I have a really hard time admitting defeat, even though it could be strongly argued that closing out this group is nothing at all like defeat. It sure feels like it though.

Also, guys, April was rough. We’re in definite crunch-time for a huge work project and the stress is starting to get to me. Instead of going on a bike ride for our two-year anniversary, we spend the day on the couch — me in pain from a bike accident and him tending to me and trying to make it better. I’m still feeling the effects of that bike accident and I’m worried that my elbow will never be the same. I battled ANOTHER cold and let that derail me from a lot of my goals for the month of April (e.g., working out, reading).

When I look back at the month, I know there were some positives but I can’t shake the feeling that it was just a crappy month. On to the next — and hoping it’s better. I hope the spring is bringing you all lots of joy. And, if you’re like me and it’s been more on the non-joyous side, I’m right there with you. Here’s to a better May.

April highlights
read three books (18 of 35 for the year)
one Peleton ride
survived a busted elbow + cold
date night + Hello, Dolly!
dinners + drinks + lunches with friends
hosted Weekend Writers + writing group
celebrated two years of knowing my love
celebrated the life of a special little girl
started down the path of landscaping our back yard
positive annual vet visit for our fur baby
Rockies game (and win!) + kicked off our season tickets
three blog posts
book club + led discussion
added a tree to our family + did some front-yard landscaping
DaVinci + senses exhibits at local nature and science museum

May intentions
remember to take time for me
spa day
get back to 30-day challenge
prepare for big go-live (work)
enjoy Vegas with coworkers
read three books
write four blog posts
make decision about writing group
Growing the Good lesson
cycle
journal
one museum visit + artist’s date
vote (local city election)
Goodwill donation

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