‘we’re not doing that’ + wedding traditions and their origins — in haiku

We knew pretty early on in the planning phase that our wedding was not going to be “traditional.” From the time of our festivities (morning) to our vacillating between whether we’re actually having a ceremony or just a reception (we’ve more or less landed on the former), we don’t really fit the mold for many wedding books and articles.

A recent conversation I had with our photographer further drove home our “nontraditional” planning when my default answer to 85% of her photo questions was, “yeah, we’re not doing that.” Oh, and not that there’s anything wrong with following a more traditional route, it’s just not us. And, if there’s one thing that is really important to us when it comes to our marriage celebration, it’s that it reflects who we are, both as individuals and a couple. And, as it turns out, a lot of the more traditional aspects of a wedding just aren’t really our thing although we’re not totally bucking tradition. I mean, I am wearing a diamond on my finger — but that’s for science (and responsibly sourced)! (I’ll explain in an upcoming blog post.)

So, as I find myself repeating “yeah, we’re not doing that” to friends, family and anyone else who happens to mention this-that-and-the-other that is typically done at a wedding ceremony or reception, I became curious as to how these things even became tradition and began researching a few of the more popular customs. I’ve included a few of my findings below (via my attempt at haiku!), but this is by no means an exhaustive list because, well, there’s a lot of traditions and I would be exhausted if I had to research them all. And, while I don’t think our minds are changed after a few history lessons, I do have a few more fun facts that might be of use at trivia night. At the very least, I learned that basically everything done at a wedding is a way to try to keep up with the Joneses and prove that you’re rich. So there’s that.

Oh, and when I said I was doing this in haiku, what I really meant was a very terrible attempt at haiku. No judging, please. 🙂

The white dress
Queen Vic is to blame
Red used to be all the rage
Status represent

The veil
Hidden from evil
Sometimes it’s a status thing
Consummate symbol

Toasting
Bread was placed in wine
Sharing a drink to show trust
The toast was the prize

Bridesmaids
Decoy for the bride
Dress you’ll never wear again
Hope for no drama

Best man
Help capture the bride
She used to not have a choice
Now they don’t do much

Bridal bouquet
Mask body odor
Garlic, dill and other herbs
Now it’s just for show

Wedding cake
They used to white
Photo opportunity
Who wants year-old cake?

Bridal shower
Thrown by the best maid
For brides who lacked a dowry
Gifts and games galore

Something old, something new (you know the rest):
English tradition
Representing good fortune
And other good stuff

Engagement ring + wedding rings:
Egyptian circle
Finger vein leads straight to heart
Diamond forever

Carrying over the threshold
Brides can be clumsy
So groom helps enter new home
By carrying her