Recently, while ring shopping with my love, (yes, we’re engaged!!!), I became a bit obsessed with certain designs and design components related to the rings. You’re probably thinking, “well, duh, this ring has to be on your finger for the rest of your life, so you obsessing a bit over what it will look like is normal.” Which, I say to that, amen, because we did spend a lot of time coming up with a design I love (in fact, we ended up designing it ourselves).
However, my obsession was not directly related to ensuring I loved the ring, but centered more on what others would think — namely, was is too much? What would it say about me if my ring was “blingy?” Would I be perceived as showy or ostentatious? Would it seem like I was trying too hard to be noticed? And on, and on, and on.
This obsessing continued for about six weeks — or, the time it takes a ring to be produced and shipped from Indian. The thoughts remained with me until the day we visited the jeweler and our sales associate unveiled our creation. I held my breath as he began opening the magical box that stood between me and all of the worry and negativity that had been hijacking my thoughts since the prior month. And when my eyes finally took it in you know what happened? I fell in love with it — in all of its glorious blingy-ness — and all of those thoughts dissipated. Because that ring — the one my love and I designed together — was glorious and exactly what we had envisioned. Sure, it was certainly a bit flashy and we’ve already touched on the bling factor, but you know what, who cares what other people think because I can’t control that. No matter what the ring looks like, people are going to formulate their own thoughts and opinions and me worrying about it won’t do anyone any good — especially not me.
And if reading “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck” has taught me anything (and it has because it’s an amazing read), it’s that I was giving a fuck about something I shouldn’t. Because the way people feel about me as it relates to this special piece of jewelry that symbolizes something as spectacular as the love my fiance (eek! fiance) and I share is not my fuck to give.
So, if you take nothing else away from this post, let it be this: own your bling. If you love a piece of clothing or jewelry — wear it. If you enjoy doing something — do it (unless it’s something terrible and hurts other people, then, of course, don’t do that). If you want a wedding that is anything but traditional and may seem weird to others — have that wedding. (That last one was for me because that’s up next). But, no matter what that thing may be that want to do, wear, or whatever, don’t let what others may think about it stop you from it. Yes, I know it’s easier said than done, but if I can wear a flashy ring on my finger and not give a fuck, you, too, can own what you love.