trajectory of a life

to the men
who have betrayed me
who have failed to be the men i thought you were
who have led me to heartbreak

here’s the thing about me, i fall fast and i love hard and deeply. i give relationships everything i have. sometimes i give too much. sometimes i’m blinded by the hope that things will get better. sometimes i don’t want to admit they won’t.

because the other thing about me is i’m stubborn — really stubborn — especially when it comes to love. i tend to hold on a little too long and a little too tightly. i don’t want to give up. i don’t want to admit defeat. i don’t want to let go if there’s even a slight chance of making it.

and as a result, my heart has been broken. many times. i’ve spent sleepless nights chastising myself. wondering why i did it. why had i acted so stupidly? why didn’t i see who you really were? why did i hang on? why?

but i wouldn’t change it. i won’t change it. i won’t change me. i believe that people are good. i believe things will work out for the best. and, despite every betrayal and heartbreak, i still believe it. i won’t change. i will continue to love fiercely.

because that’s where that stubbornness comes in handy. you won’t break me. i won’t waste my precious life by merely existing. i will live. i will love.