new normals

today marks two months at my new job (yes, I now count service anniversaries in months vs years) and, man, what a difference one month can make. 

the first 30 days or so were rough — really rough. there were many nights I laid awake second guessing my decision and wondering if I had made a huge mistake. I was lost and felt as if I were in a constant state of “wobbly.” my normal, the foundation I had spent the last nine years building, had been pulled out from under me and in its place this new thing that in no way resembled the old. 

but, day by day, I started getting my footing. my wobble felt a bit more stable and I began accepting that just because this new wasn’t what I was used to, didn’t necessarily mean it was bad — it was just different. 

mastering train names and schedules became a goal (accomplished!) and I began looking forward to my commute and the time on those trains. I began noticing and feeling grateful for the interactions with people with whom I would likely never otherwise interact. instead of mourning for my lost free time, I began to appreciate what I did have and spend it in more meaningful ways. and, instead of focusing on how much I miss my old coworkers (I still do greatly!), I began appreciating the opportunity to make so many new connections. instead of missing what was, I began focusing on opportunities and benefits and possibilities.

and then there came a time sometime in the past 30 days when this new thing became just a thing without the new — it’s just my thing, my normal. and, I’m kinda in love with it. 

so, here’s to taking risks and getting out of our comfort zones and showing up each day and living life in the fucking arena. here’s to embracing the wobbly and seeing where it may lead. here’s to new normals. otherwise, how would we ever know what we can really become?