week in review + self forgiveness

“This too shall pass.”

this week was a rough one. actually, to be fair, it was really just a shitty 24 hours starting mid-afternoon on Thursday. the rest of the week was pretty great. I had finally felt like I was finding my stride and getting a few things at my new job and then all hell kind of broke loose. I don’t mean to be dramatic because if I explained in detail the events that actually transpired (don’t worry, I won’t), I doubt most people would even give it much thought. but, for me — someone who is trying to prove herself in a new role at a new company with new people and who took a huge risk leaving a pretty good gig for said new role — what happened was a big deal. and, it’s been playing on repeat in my mind ever since. I can’t get past it, no matter how many times I tell myself it’s not a big deal and that I’m very likely the only one who is even giving it a second thought. it’s stuck in my brain.

I know I need to forgive myself and move on. I really do. the awareness is there but the actual follow through is definitely lacking. I wish I were one of those people who didn’t dwell on their mistakes and wasn’t so hard on myself. I wish I could just chalk it up to me not knowing many things yet about the company and the processes and people and accept that my intentions were good. I wish I could just fucking forgive myself.

week in review
this week’s intention: pause
last week’s gratitude: my amazing support systems
what I’m reading: Ancillary Justice + First, Break All The Rules
finished Modern Romance 
completed the mot ridiculous to-do list over the weekend — 33 of 35 items marked off
mentoring (last session, sadly)
continued love of the light rail (rode every day this week!)
made some good progress at work with team + projects + culture
lots of reading time (thank you, RTD)
retirement consultation session
traded in my Kate Spade for a more practical commuter bag (pic bottom right)
continued on my quest for less stuff + made huge donation to Goodwill
attended baby shower + spent time catching up with TSGT ladies
drinks on the patio with one of my besties (pic bottom middle)
spoiled by a boyfriend who not only cooks but also bakes (pic top left)
attended baby shower for colleague (pic bottom left)
successfully talked my way into a lower car insurance rate (pretty darn proud of this)
saw the new Bourne movie with my TDP
Italy planning
moved my body — not “formally” but lots of fast walking during commute
sent birthday wishes to two of my favorite people
continued writing project + one-year challenge
wrote + posted week in review

weekend happenings + goals
host monthly Denver Creates writing group + write
lunch with TSGT coworkers
drinks + catching up with a friend who recently moved
reflect on July + create August goals (holdover from last week)
work a bit + prepare for jury duty on Monday
continued Italy planning
brunch with a good friend
complete new budget + retirement planning
celebrate TDP’s new career adventure (so proud of him!)
Geniecast promotions
read
forgive myself + move past bad day